my grandfather always told me "i love that smile don't ever let the world change you don't let them take it from you" i can see him now in my mind frostbit hair large bifocals blue eyes surrounded by a multitude of laugh lines i can hear his voice in my head gentle soft sweet replaying in hopes that it won't fade with other memories i can still smell his brut aftershave i can still feel his wrinkled hands and arthritic fingers patting mine and his gaunt form under my cheek as i hugged him closely i wish now i could hug him one-thousand times more wish i could sit and listen to his endless stories wish i could hear him say that sentiment to me one more time wish i could listen to "i'll fly away" without breaking down but i can't what i can do is be reminded of how much he loved me unconditionally how deeply he cherished me it's hard to fathom the idea of anyone loving me like this ever again but i'm thankful he did because he helped me mature into the person i am today and i'm proud when i see glimpses of him in my reflection glimpses of a paragon
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"girls like you are the reason we can't have any fun" "girls like you are why boys can't just be boys anymore" "girls like you are upsetting the balance" "girls like you need to learn your place" women like me are the reason your "fun" is exposed for the misogyny it is women like me are why "boys will be boys" is no longer good enough to cover a man's misbehavior women like me are balancing the scales to where they should be women like me don't need to learn anything from your antiquated tradition & sexism women like me are the future while people like you belong in the past therefore get out of my way get on board or get left behind gray sand drive faded yellow siding overgrown rose bushes wooden gate that doesn't shut properly the sound of my sister writing songs down the hallway my father outside on the tractor my mother upstairs in her prayer closet i long for these days sleeping in my father's old t-shirts playing kickball with Angel in the backyard my mother's homemade waffles fresh in the morning the simpler days when we were all together days i wished to be over but now desire to replay days of home |
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February 2022
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