*Before reading, it is important to note that I am not condemning anyone who does not choose to wear a purity ring. It's something God has directed me to do, but if you have not been called to this then that is totally okay. Just sharing my experience and the "why" behind wearing mine.*
For those of you who may not know, a purity ring is typically worn by someone who is going to wait to have sex until marriage. Most of the time, they’re worn by Christians, but they aren’t limited to religious people. It’s just a simple ring worn on the wedding-band finger as a placeholder of sorts and it’s a public statement of your decision to remain celibate until marriage. I grew up during the “Purity Movement” in Christianity, with “Passport to Purity,” “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” and so on. The purity culture was always very pervasive in my life, which is why I was given a purity ring when I became a teenager. Just a simple silver band that said “True Love Waits” around it. I never fully grasped what it meant until recently. To be honest, it was kind of a “cool” thing the other girls in my Baptist youth group were doing; it was a rite of passage of sorts. I was excited to get one, not necessarily because of the implications behind it, but because it felt like a milestone. I’ve worn one for nine years now, so you’d think I would’ve already come to the conclusion of why I wear it or how it connects to the Gospel, but sadly, I hadn’t. It became less of an important promise and just a piece of jewelry. I think the issue was that I didn’t fully grasp the promise I was making when I received the ring or the symbolism of it. I was semi-young and sex was not on my mind at all. There was no desire, so there wasn’t a conscious knowledge of how hard it is to flee temptation and stick to the promise. As I’ve gotten older, it’s become harder to admit to people what it is when they ask. I feel very uncoolwhen I awkwardly say, “Um... it’s a purity ring.” And it’s always worse when I have to explain what it is. About a year and a half ago, my old one broke and I just stopped wearing one. I didn’t have a super attachment to having one since I never connected with the message behind it in the first place. Plus, I’m in college now and I didn’t want anyone to think I was married or engaged when I’m definitely not. This was also at a very low point in my life, when I wasn’t prioritizing God, but was utilizing sin as an idol in my life. It just didn’t seem important anymore. I started wearing one again about six months ago, when my mom found an old ring she outgrew and wanted me to wear it. I knew she didn’t just want me to wear it, but she wanted it to be my new purity ring. I begrudgingly put it on because I knew it’d make her happy. Plus, it was just a ring— it had no power over my actions. And although at this point I wasn’t living as badly as I previously was, I still didn’t see a need to wear one. When COVID-19 hit, I was forced to go home from college. The coffee shop I worked at closed its café for good, so I was out of a job. There was literally nothing for me to do but sit at home and lounge around. And that’s all I did for the first month and a half. Until one day, I was scrolling through Instagram and a notification popped up from the Bible app—the Verse of the day. Typically, I just ignore and go about my business, but I knew I was living in sin. So, I decided to read it in case the Holy Spirit was saying something to me through it. Ephesians 5:5 (ESV) showed across my screen and there was instant conviction-- “For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.” Instead of ignoring that conviction and going on with my day, I typed in “verses about sexual immorality,” just so I could get a variety from different books. A few stood out to me, such as Leviticus 19:2/1 Peter 1:16, “‘You shall be holy, for I am holy,’” and 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, 5 not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. 7 For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.” Turns out, the Bible has a lot to say about sexual immorality, and it’s all about removing impurities and fleeing from that lifestyle. If it isn’t obvious by now, sexual immorality is a sin I struggle with. It has been for a while. It’s a sin that I’ve never really felt badly about. I knew I should feel bad because of muscle memory of sin, repent that had been ingrained in me from adolescence, but I never truly felt repentant. It was all very blasé in my eyes. Sometimes it’s still difficult to be repentant because if I don’t regret something, it’s hard for me to be grieved over it. All of that to say, this was one of the first times I’d ever felt truly convicted; so much so that I deleted any inappropriate posts I’d made and I posted an apology for my close friends’ list. You may be wondering—how does this relate to the purity ring? Well, I’m getting there. So with this wake-up call from the Holy Spirit, I actually began reading the Bible and spending time with God again and modifying my speech and actions to be aligned with Christ’s (which is not easy, let me tell you). I’ve been studying Ezekiel and I came across Ezekiel 16. The heading is “The LORD’s Faithless Bride,” so you can probably guess that this chapter is a retelling of God and Israel’s history and Israel’s subsequent idolatry. Verse 8 sticks out the most, “When I passed by you again and saw you, behold, you were at the age for love, and I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness; I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord GOD, and you became mine.” Let me just break this down in parts: “When I passed by you again and saw you, behold, you were at the age for love...” God had passed by Israel once before in verse six and breathed life into the forgotten infant in the field. The second time He passes by, He saw that Israel was at the “age for love” which just means “marriageable age.” “...and I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness;” The spreading of the garment is symbolic for marriage, and can also be seen in Ruth 3:9 with Boaz and Ruth. Nakedness in this case symbolizes destitution, so He covers Israel’s destitution and brought His blessings upon them. “I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you...” The vow is “You shall be my people and I will be your God.” The covenant relates to the Mosaic/Sinaitic covenant (Exodus 19-24), which is seen as the “marriage” between God and Israel. “...and you became mine.” Or became His wife (Ruth 4:13 and Hosea 3:3) This is a very simple breakdown in the original context. I really liked the verse when I first read it, but I wanted to look into what it really meant. After I’d broken it down, everything started to click in my mind. God was speaking to me through this verse—that I’d been like Israel. I’d made a covenant with Him (salvation in Jesus Christ), and I was His. I often think someone calling someone else “mine” is idiotic and sexist because a person cannot be a possession, but hearing this from God was one of the most comforting sentiments I’ve ever received. Even though I’d made the covenant though, I was like Israel and I committed adultery with idols. Not the same wooden idols as Israel, but with modern-day idols, like sex, social media, intellect, etc. Anything I gave more attention to than God, was an idol. And even though I’d done all of this, there was Jesus, telling me it’s not too late. You’re still mine. I forgive you. I’m renewing the covenant. I will cover you and take care of you. You’re ready now, you’re at the age for love. I love you. And it was then that I fully grasped the implications of wearing a purity ring. We often hear that the Church is the Bride of Christ, but I think it’s easy to just accept the metaphor and not truly think about what it means. With Christ’s time on earth, spanning from birth to resurrection, He was the living embodiment of a faithful husband, willing to sacrifice His own life for the one He loved. 2 Corinthians 11:2 says, “For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.” God betrothed us to one husband—Jesus. Only through Jesus can my idolatry, my living like Israel, be forgiven. Only through his atonement can I be given to God as a “pure virgin.” I wear this ring, because I am in a relationship with the Godhead. God has spread his garment over me, entered in a covenant with me, and I have become His. It’s only a silly piece of jewelry if you allow it to be. And now, every time I look at it, I think of Ezekiel 16:8. God is the perfect One for me. Everyone talks about finding “the one” but I’ve already found Him. Whomever I marry will always be in second place when it comes to God. He’s my first true love. The only love I’ve ever had that doesn’t make me miserable. The only love that’s ever brought me happiness. That’s why I wear it proudly now, and I honestly couldn’t care less about what anyone says. Sometimes, people mock those who choose to wear purity rings and sometimes it's other Christians who do it. I’m not sure if they think they’re “too cool” like I once did, but if you’re one of those people, my question would be: What’s lacking in your walk with God that you have to criticize someone else for wearing a symbol of His covenant? If God has called them to it, and it’s biblical, then what’s the big deal? When I fully grasped the meaning of the ring, it became less of a stuffy rule (“You can’t have sex before marriage”) and more of the idea that I don’t want to have sex before marriage because I’m in a committed relationship with God. It all finally clicked that it wasn’t a symbol of suppression, but a reminder of the love God has for me. Even if you have had sex, you can still wear one after repenting of your sin and entering into a covenant with God. But, it means nothing if you aren’t really committed to the message behind it or you don’t fully grasp the magnitude of what it symbolizes. I wear a purity ring because it reminds me of the One who loves me more than anyone ever will.
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